Come and get swayed in my way

2006-09-11T03:10:00.000+08:00

fuck......2 years and it's gone by in a flash.yes i'm insane...but i want to my life with you guys..yet i know it's time to move on..seperate ways.different lives.and i can't bear to.

drawing of the curtains

2006-09-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

Drawing of the curtains

my dear pai-sans, the past one year had been a roller-coaster ride and it is indeed exhilarating to be living life in sucha fashion. Pardon me for the 1 year hiatus (actually, it's short of a month) as I was fulfilling my duties for the nation. Did you people enjoy National Day? Don't worry, I was part of the reason you people get to enjoy the good show and you did enjoy your pubic no sorry I mean public holiday right? IT'S OK : ) I was doing guard duty in camp.YES.now to cut the whole darn thing short, I have 6 more working days before I walk out the gates of the place I called home for the past 2 years.YES.I will never need to don on that green uniform every morning.Liberation day has been hankered for far too long but now when it draws near the irony of it all is that despite the pain, the anguish and the longing desire for freedom, I miss that damn camp, the training, and my platoon mates (pretty much everything 'cept the toilet).Eugene, Yeat, Jerry, Alf, we'll always be a band of brothers.Always.

2005-10-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps. It's been quite awhile since I actually wrote something...yeah? The layout of this blog's really screwed and I hardly have time to pen down my thoughts. Well, my verdict...not gonna give a damn about this layout as there are too many important things to accomplish, but I'll still write and I'd still like you to read :) Anyway yes! I'll be leaving for Australia to train for a month with the recce platoon. Will be doing lots of rappelling down the Super Puma and bike navigation exercises,playing enemy to the armour brigade, but the worst bit...is that we are gonna stay outfield for 1 whole month. In other words, we don't have a base camp and we'll be living in tents and sleeping on safari beds. Oh bollocks. Did i mention toilets? There are no toilets. Fuck. Oh well, but at least I'm happy my training ground is free from toads!!! Hell, I bloody freak out when I see those slimy creatures. Okay, enough of army for now. Recently I've been reading the sequel to Tony Parson's Man & Boy. It's a rather good read and I kind of enjoy his veracious touch to the way he narrates. A dash of humor, a tinge of anguish. This book can really make you laugh and cry at the same time. A book on love and it's complications, marriage and divorce, a man and his son..excellent read I would say, though I still preferred the first book. If you're interested, the title's Man & Wife. I finished it in a record breaking time of 2 days..while normally I'd take like a month or so with my books. So pick it up peeps! And my current favourite for music this month would be Paul Anka's rock-swing album. Hear him do Bon Jovi's It's my life and Spandau Ballet's True...awesome man..I tell you.I fell in love with his music not on the first time, but subsequent times...it's a slow rush to his music..he get's you hooked onto it, but that's if you're jazz fan like me! hah. Gotta run now......and big kitty cat if you're reading this...I MISS YOU! XOXOXO

2005-09-20T04:21:00.000+08:00

I've never met someone like you..someone that speaks like me, thinks like me and feels like me.I don't have to say a word and you already know whats on my mind.There's this magical feeling that resides in this relationship of ours..that i hope will never die..If it's a spell...then I wanna be under this spell til eternity.I love you jasmine...you make my life complete...

2005-09-11T12:08:00.000+08:00

i woke up 3am today for the army half marathon. Man, my legs are really numb and my toe hurts :( Oh well, got a medal, a guards towel and a t-shirt in exchange for the run. Not too bad eh heh. Catch up with u all again! tata!

P.S. oh ya and guess what? I've found someone who shares the same birthday as me! There's just so much similarity between us. Oh my...this is too wonderful hahaha! Love ya Jas (:

2005-08-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

i just wanna shout! just wanna scribble and doodle. Life is good now. Too good hehe..

2005-08-20T05:29:00.000+08:00

7 bottles of martell. And I'm back and alive :P what a night. fucked up place but yeah...i hope my bro had fun. Happy bday my dear bro, thomas :) many blessings ahead..

2005-08-19T20:35:00.000+08:00

I was randomly reading one of my secondary school mate's blog today through his friendster account when i surfed to his page.As i read on, i realised to my HORROR how similar his profile was to MINE. all the key words, and phrases and everything that sums up the gist of my profile. Fuck I tell you, I just hate it when people take what's rightfully yours and use it without your acknowledgment. I mean..don't they realise they're fakin' it all? I mean fuck orginality for now, but you're 'stealing' from a friend! What's pissin and getting on my nerves so much is that i spend a long time thinking how i'm gonna write and phrase and peice things up but the very next moment some jerk just uses it so conveniently. And man..FUCK! he's definitely not like me and vice versa. Well, this is the epitome of selfishness. To all the fucking masqueraders out there, go fuck yourselves. Ok, back to happier times now. I'm gonna be at Thomas' party tonight. yeahhhhh all the ladies' in the house..........see you there! Oops.I'm gonna get mobilised tomorrow. Damn.....i'm f u c k e d....

2005-07-24T18:39:00.001+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MY FUCKING SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-28T03:29:00.000+08:00

My grandmother's been bedridden for almost 2 3 weeks now. I still remember one sat night ago, I was still peeling apples for her, and we had this really heartfelt talk about life. Tonight, I stood there with my father and all she could do was open and close her eyes. She could hardly speak and half her body's been paralysed. Grandma couldn't fix her gaze on us, neither could she tell us what she wanted to say...I don't even know if she knew who we were..but I bet there was going to be more to that heartfelt chat that night...if she still had the life to speak.Her spirit's slipping away through the hours...I've got this terrible feeling in me that would happen any moment. I stood by her bedside silently, and dad took me by the hand and we said a prayer. If this miracle is too much to ask for, I pray that You'll take away her pain and suffering..at least give her some peace..Speedy recovery granny, I love you lots...

Wake up tomorrow a happier you

2005-05-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

It got me thinking quite a bit today when I met up with a close friend. We had a really good chat tonight, talking about girls and relationships, about work and our future careers, about life and death. I wonder how often do we focus too much on personal affairs that we miss out on the big picture and the nitty-gritty of life? It makes me wanna pry deeper, into the true meaning of our lives. For the past four years, I see myself through many ups and downs, many emotional set backs, confusion and the struggle of growing up. Could life have been better if I'd taken a different path? Maybe if I strived harder in my academic achievements I'd find my way through local U. If I'd chosen a nice girl as a girlfriend, we might've been together for four fucking years and life would've been a bliss. I wouldn't have to experience crying buckets and hurting like hell. Fuck...this is the real deal isn't it? Life is never smooth. and sometimes when it gets too lonely, and you're choking up with emptiness, you wished there was someone whom you could turn to for comfort. That's why people write blogs, to share their life story with the invisible world on-line, to strangers that don't know a fuck-shit about you.Well ladies and gentlemen, this is my life story, transparent and real, nothing of the extraordinary haha. Reaching manhood did change me, I'm more compliant towards different views and perspectives of stuff. Suddenly it struck me today, that my four years as a youngster wasn't too bad..and boy, do I have lot of things to give thanks for.I had three crazy years of fun with my buddies though that caused me my grades. Golden memories that are gonna stick with me throughout. Those failed relationships, the pain and the emotional torment..it made me a wiser lover :) yeah. Though I have to admit I'm still learning, it gives me great comfort when friends come to you seeking for advice, and your words give them answers that they're searching so helplessly for, it gives them solace. I feel good to see them living with hope again. If I hadn't been through those four years of my life, I wouldn't be able to relate my experiences to them. To everything there's always two sides to it, just like a coin. There's the good side and bad side of things. Shit happens, but we learn and grow from it, just how positive are you today? Don't you think it's time to change your life? I'd like everyone of you to wake up tomorrow morning, with a smile across your face and tell yourself, "I own the day, and I'm gonna do what I wanna do and be happy!" I don't like the idea that life's a sea of torment, just like what the Buddhists always trust in. Must we live in misery during our time on earth so that we'll be in the realm of gods when we die? Life is in my own hands and I'll tell you a secret. The gods envy us. Because everything is beautiful when we live life only once.Today you might be an 8 yr old kid kicking the ball in the field with your buddies, and the next moment, you are thirty, married with two kids. You know that you'll never get the same people back on the same field..reliving that moment. Today you might be a twenty-three year old woman, walking down Bali's beaches hand in hand with your beau. The soft sunset and the sand beneath your feet..the surge of intimacy..the passion both of you shared..undescribable.But in a twitch of an eye, you're eighty, seated in a rocking chair, passing your life away. You know you'd never get to see and experience Bali again with your lover.Nothing is permanent in this world, that's where the beauty of life lies in. When I think of those four years now, I know I appreciate my life better. I walked pass a funeral tonight, and I told myself, when I'm done chasing after fame and fortune and death's knocking on my door, I hope I leave with the beautiful memories, and the good that I've done to make myself a better friend, a better husband and a better man to the world.

2005-05-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

Gosh..i was pissed drunk last night! I puked. I haven't exactly puked all these years. I was a good drinker. Yeah as I said, I was. As I pulled over near the carpark, the pouring rain was already dampening our moods. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling but I was definitely happy to see all the people that meant a great deal to me. Zouk was pretty empty but it was good enough for me. I was moved by their efforts, and it doesn't hurt to know how many friends will stick to you through thick and thin. It doesn't. If this life of mine and theirs was gonna be a stage performance, than it definitely deserves a hearty round of applause! 21 is a milestone in my life and there are some serious adjustments I'm going to make. Work really hard, stay healthy and keep going. The substantial part of it.. is that I'm gonna continue searching for this something, a sense of purpose..an inner fulfillment which money can't buy. Something neither achievements nor people can fulfill...I need to find myself. To be someone real.

2005-05-06T21:42:00.000+08:00

fuck.........i fractured my foot!

2005-04-28T03:44:00.000+08:00

My birthday's drawing near. And yet it's another monotonous kind of celebration I'm having. I'm never happy during my birthdays. My mind's so troubled but I'm gonna promise myself this year, that I'll shirk unhappiness and indulge in all the goodness. 21 years, I never lacked in material comfort, family love and friends. I'm so blessed. And I wish you are too. I wish you're happy. I'm gonna see all of you at my party and we're going to swing til 3.

2005-04-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

We all want love. we all want to feel attraction and we just love it, don't we? But aren't you feeling insecure, confused about love..feelings..beauty..wits..charm..being morally wrong and right. You can't explain why you feel the way you do, the way your personality is made up of, everything. And then for a moment you find yourself living in a fool's paradise. So is it wrong to like someone when you know you shouldn't? Is your current squeeze the right one for you? It got me thinking..feelings come and go just like the tides.For a moment you can be madly infatuated with her and you thought that might be love.you thought things will be the same 3 years later..like the very first day you felt that funny twirling feeling of butterflies in your stomache. but what happened? That burning flame that both of you shared..that was fiercely passionate and romantic, it grew dimmer over time. And when everything became so mundane, you find the world coming to a standstill. There wasn't love at all. There weren't anymore feelings left. Alas, you met Andrea. She was beautiful, witty and everyone's inclination. And beyond that pretty face, lies a wounded heart and soul that drifts aimlessly.You were feeling jittery with her around. You feel all the need to take care of her, shelter her from harm and give her, most importantly, the hope she yearns to regain. You felt for her.Drawn to her beauty, her melancholy, somehow you forgot how much you liked victoria in the past, how much feelings were involved between the both of you. Are you confused and lost? Let me answer that for you. You are. Lost in emotions. You thought you knew love but you didn't. You thought feelings were everything but they're not. They're temporial. Then you start mistaking infatuation and attraction for love and mix all of them together. Love,feelings,infatuation,attraction,emotions all in one crazy concoction. You thought beauty is everything but no you're wrong, we grow old. And even so, beautiful people are everywhere. You thought your actions were a clear measure of how much you loved. But when Andrea came along, you were skeptical, you were feeling insecure about your ownself, for a minute you were afraid because love sounded so foreign that you didn't dare to trust yourself anymore. So did you love Victoria? If yes, then explain Andrea. You need answers..you need to find out who you really are and what you're thinking of.

You've experienced the laws of attraction. You know you felt strongly for that someone at an instance that slowly as time goes by you lose that feeling.It comes and goes and you don't know if you made the right choice.Feelings come and go. You feel, because you see and you experience her beauty, her wits, her personality and character. But you can't love based on feelings. Because they come and go..and love, it's extraordinary.It's a choice you make. You choose to love her, regardless of anything else.Then you'll love her til the end of time. If you choose not to, then you won't.Personality plays a big part in relationships, it's what that makes up a person. Character at this point of time is secondary, as it's only a manifestation of your ownself. Then put all of them together. Personality, character, feelings. Is she what you're looking for? Is Victoria the one? Or did you follow your feelings blindly. Andrea might be a tougher decision, so think harder..

2005-03-29T16:27:00.000+08:00

I was driving last night and I happened to tune into Gold90.5 and Burt Bacarach's Raindrops keep fallin' on my head was on air. Hasn't been a very good week to begin with, falling sick and missing my training, but this song does sooths your moods.When things turn out wrong, just have that extra faith in yourself, keep on going and don't let them put you down :)

Raindrops keep falling on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin’ seems to fit
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling
So I just did me some talkin’ to the sun
And I said I didn’t like the way he’ got things done
Sleepin’ on the job
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling
But there’s one thing I know
The blues he sends to meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turnin’ red
Crying’s not for me
Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’
Because I’m free
Nothing’s worrying me.

P.S lalalalalala. I love singing to myself :D it makes me happy

2005-01-10T03:20:00.000+08:00

life is kinda trashy now. My sis is gonna be away for the longest time. 8 months man! She's really good company and a confidante as well. But with reunion comes departure, that I understand. 20th of Feb is coming soon ain't it? I feel as if that day's knocking on my door, and I can almost picture her with a suitcase, walking through that glass door and leaving for melbourne. That feeling sucks BIG time. There's nothing for me to look forward to every weekend. I wanna see her and there's lots of things we haven't do. What about the zoo, ocean's 12, M hotel and there's just too much to name. And my 21st bday, so much of wanting to celebrate it with you, but you'll be away and i'll be in some fucking jungle feeding mosquitoes.. God. life isn't fair. It's my 21st bday. It's my BIG DAY. It's MY PRIME TIME. I want it with her. Fuck. my mind's in a whirlpool now. no i'm not blaming anyone for this..but my life is trashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i've lost touch with so many people. And so many of 'em are going overseas having a swell time there. Unlike my mundane life. All i see is green green green and more green. I feel my heart cringing, cause i know i won't hear that voice ever so often..i won't get to see that pretty face and there's just nothing to look forward to every weekend....

2005-01-06T14:38:00.000+08:00

I'm out of action for 2 weeks. Damn it. That's really bad cause I'm finishing my course in 2 weeks and this is really destructive. I hope they'll re-schedule something for me.

2005-01-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

I've been on mc for 4 days..eating panadols round the clock. Don't know what kind of fever this is but it's pretty bad when it comes with a soar throat and those body aches you wished someone at the massage parlour would help you out. I hate being sick, it drains off my energy and I start losing muscles fast. I gotta get myself prepared for the 10km fast march, ain't no easy task man..Sigh. I think I'm too exhausted..hectic lifestyle. 5 day working week that makes you crazy, and a weekend that steals your sleep away. Too much activities. Learn how to say no...learn how to! heh. I just don't seem to be able to learn that. I've been thinking a bit today..bout certain things. I want answers, I want reasons. I wanna know what happened. What made me so insane, so depressed, so uptight. Maybe I should bury those questions and never mention them again, afterall there might not be an answer to it. As Mitch Albom says in "the five people you meet in heaven", everything happens for a reason. And I always believe that if I don't get an answer to it, eventually when I die, everything will be revealed to me. The purpose behind every event that has happened in your life. Ahhh I shouldn't sound so blue, I should be happy cos' everything's so perfect now and as a matter of fact, I'm indeed in blithe.

2005-01-01T15:32:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year people!! It's pretty bad leaving behind 2004 with the Tsunami incident but I sincerely hope 2005 will have a better head start. Also, I pray that Operation Flying Eagle will go on smoothly, not forgetting the guardsmen who have left for Indo. Coming monday will be my Heli-bourne trip, so guys please pray that I don't fall off the ropes :P 100 ft is no joke man. Wish me luck in jumping off the helicopter! Guardsman!! :D

2004-12-18T01:19:00.000+08:00

I spend my friday night at home. This is unbelievable. Whatever. I'm sick and tired. I don't have time to think about such stuff anymore. Everyday I'm up before the sun rises doing PT, knocked out completely when the sun sets. This is my life. The life of the guardsmen. You think I enjoy it? That's only true when I have you to spur me on. Right now I'm just lost and I don't know how to set things right.

2004-12-12T14:55:00.000+08:00

fuck guards. fuck the recce troopers. But I'll take it as it comes. And yeah...I'll not let you if I'm ready to strike. Wish me luck at Bedok camp II!

2004-12-11T15:10:00.000+08:00

And I realised lately..everything's about you. My world revolves around you.

2004-12-11T14:12:00.000+08:00

Maybe..you're a solitaire

The date is drawing nearer..she's leavin' for melbourne soon. And I've lots of things to say to her but I don't know where to start or how to start. Theres just too much to say.. I hate to admit it..but the other night when I saw you at breckos, I couldn't help but smile at you. 3 years in the same school, doing the same course, guess we barely rubbed shoulders. We were always walking pass each other, and i'll be the one refusing to acknowledge your presence. Call me aloof, call me indifferent but that's only a facade for me to shy away from people. That night when we met face to face, I know I couldn't do that again, not for one last time. I smiled and you smiled back, and that very minute and second was picture perfect. I'll never forget that enthralling smile of yours, cos' I've already captured that moment in my heart. It didn't occur to me that everything started to change as time went by. BMT could've been a rough ride if not for you. I was facing a tough time, but every message from you, it never fails to chase away the gloom in me. Even if it rains, my heart will be singing with joy. Calling you every night is what I look forward to, because there'll always be laughter over conversations, there'll always be comfort to embrace me. When things turn out wrong, I'm never afraid to face em' because you'll be there, you'll be there to give me the extra support I need, and that extra support, I never belittle it. It made me go very far. Now that you're goin, I find it kinda hard that you have to leave soon. Solitude isn't what I know anymore since you entered my life. Maybe I'll never ever find out the way you really feel. Maybe there'll be us? Maybe it's just one-sided. Maybe I can give it all up. Maybe..theres way too much ambiguity.

2004-12-09T04:52:00.000+08:00

thanks for everything tonight, you know who you guys are. Thanks for standin' by my side. Yeah..i thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it, surprisingly. Bukit Timah will always BE MY PLAYGROUND. You might've ruined east coast for me, but no, not this time. Cos' we are bukit timah kids. WE ROCK.

2004-12-06T20:32:00.000+08:00

fucking cheebye. my tagboard is still down. Fucking hell. Yeah anyway I'm having my block leave now. Have been shortlisted for Guards recce. Knn. I hope I don't get in, YET. Actually I regretted not opting for command school, at least after the 5 mths I can fuck people. Yes. Whatever. I wanna get a good posting. 2 mths in BMT made me all the more agree that superficiality is inevitable. Where's the sincerity man? Fucking hell. And all the more I can say that bitches will always remain as bitches. BIG FUCK. And that chow cheebye who loves to impersonate on my tag board, I'm waiting for you. Yeah fucking Ivan have the fucking balls to confront me straight you PUSSY!

2004-11-27T13:21:00.000+08:00

YES!!!!!! My bro bought the X-box hahahaha. Oh by the way, anyone of you come across nice apache faces? I wanna do another tattoo.

2004-11-27T05:29:00.000+08:00

Been a long week, don't know why but days seem to pass by so slowly. BMT's coming to an end, I wonder if life would be better... Well I can't control it but at least I'm gonna think about happy thoughts :) like you always say so heh. I'm gonna have my hair back in no time. Met Lilian really late tonight, chilled at holland V and we just kept talking non-stop. It's funny how we always have so much to say and it's sweet when someone offers to drive you instead of you driving her. But oh well I love to drive :D Hope the speed fines will stop cause I'll be getting into too much trouble with the law. Few more points and I can kiss that class3 good-bye. Nice lil week-end and I'm gonna keep it short and sweet. Nights :)

2004-11-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

I had a great weekend. I'll never forget those platoon mates of mine. Period

2004-11-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I had like a million zillion thoughts running inside my head. So I put on my runners, had the stereo on and went for a long jog. I felt better after that. I didn't know what I was thinking bout anyway. Just another mood swinging day perhaps. Yeah..and I had dinner with my bro, talked bout lotsa stuff and yeah we ate a lot. Headed down to Discussion with Lilian to accompany Jer. Sang a few songs before we finally decided to head down to Thumper to finish the bottle of martel that was left over since sat. Yeah and we took lots of photos, Lilian me and jer :) Been drinking almost every night oops heh. Actually it's not hard leading a healthy lifestyle don't you think so? We just hafta be a tad more discipline, and we must learn to say no. I'm trying to quit smoking so lets see if I can succeed. Time to go. Ciao!

Close to youuuu

2004-11-13T03:44:00.000+08:00

ooh yeah..had coffee with lilian. She's sucha sweetie cause she waited for me as I'm always late. Ain't I such a girlie. Only girls are allowed to be late. Oh wells :P We had coffee, tea, me and you hiaks. Yup and she has a stylish lil car I'll love to sit and let her drive since mine's a biggy monster. But I get a high when I'm driving it, cause I get a bird's eye view of every single automobile on the road. So I headed down to the rabbit club Thumper after Lilian left me heh. Got high on martel and the babes were so fascinated with my hat. Why can't they face it, I don't have hair that's why I'm wearing a hat, and I really hate it when they rub my head. So back to getting high on the booze, the blasting music didn't have an effect on me. Some song kept ringing in my head for no damn reason. But I love that song...and yes it kept ringing, sounding like this...

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me,
they long to be
Close to you.

lalala..I wanna be, close to you. :)

melancholic poet

2004-11-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

heh..a bit boh liao. Trying to be poetic here :P

Adieu, my love

Ashened faces in a prosaic world

gone was my love, with farewell's torment.

like crimson roses wilt with winter's touch

my heart, it sings the blues of a sad history

songs filled with melancholic yesterday

bleak gloomy skies, aren't they a dreary grey?

while weeping willow trees sing of my woes

they break silence of an agony, my agony

for my tomorrow's a terrible sorrow

when I still tear for you, my dear

dampened spirits discern no pleasures

for you know it chases ubiety on lofty mountains high

float me up on cloud number nine

for your kiss is my bliss

your touch is my rapture

but when it all fades away

like the colors of the world

they lose their vibrance

like loose sand in my hands

vanishing with your good-bye

washed away with your going

adieu, adieu, my love.

Back from Hell

2004-11-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

Godforsaken Land

Hello peeps. Haven't blogged for eons. Life ain't smooth sailing I would say, but without the bad what goodness would you know? 7 days of harsh weather conditions, heavy rain and high temperatures, I'm back from the jungle. Try shitting there, try sleeping there, or rather, try surviving there. I thought my bunk was hell but now it seems like heaven to me. My home's the number one hotspot in my list right now. I ain't going where I tell you. I swear I'm gonna stay home for as long as I can. Talking about food, I haven't tasted fresh food for a week and that very first bite was indescribable. Yeah and I know what hunger feels like now. 3 pieces of biscuits to last you the entire bloody day, march 10 click, do jungle training, leopard crawl and BIC. Fucking hell. I could've eaten an entire cow. There's more to come, which means more experiences. Each time I go through something I feel it changes me, I gain somethin' but yet on the other side I get to lose somethin as well. I used to be indifferent and apathetic to a lot of stuff but I guess I look at things in a different point of view now. Sit test on monday. Sibeh sian hah. Fuck you understand!! :D Take care peeps.

2004-10-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

Fast craft. Sunrise. The crashin' waves. The chirpin' of birds. And the bloody sound of the flags rising. Back to my second home. Boooo. Who can go through army for 2 and a half years without partying? I can! Who can go through physical and mental torture while studying? I can! Yeah right..Sigh. Do I have a choice :/ Tata peeps.

sigh

2004-10-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

sighhhhhhh..last day of atten c. no more air-con, no more watchin' vcds with junice. no more nothinnnn. All I see is black and green. Boringgggggggg

2004-10-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

Orion company sucks because our OC is an asshole. This fact has been well provened by the previous batches and I trust their judgement. Bloody sniper who confines people who dozes off in his lectures or people who forgets to greet him. The most ridiculous confinement he issued to a recruit was because he forgot to remove a dried leaf from his fish tank. But on the other hand, Orion company's good because we have a nice sergeant major who's a big time joker who makes life easy for us. Down with high fever that's makin' my head spin now. The bloody epidemic in tekong is getting outta hand and the water parades doesnt seem to help. They make us sweat under the sun and straight away attend lectures in air-conditioned rooms, how well does that help? Everyone's immune system's going down. Half my platoon has been plagued by fever, cough and soar throat. Lucky for me, the fever came later and I'm having a 2 day mc. :) Looking forward to go back camp though. BMT's fun! Although we're the lowest life-form there.

Avoir

2004-09-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

Avoir

Afternoon peeps. Woke up about an hour or two ago, called my bro and sent him off through the phone. Hope all is well for him. It's been a bleak day the moment I open my eyes, and it sorta depicts my mood right now. HAHA. Can't help it aight. Still having a million and one things to do, lots of people I've not met. My apologies dear friends. I love you guys lots for being so thoughtful but I'm up to my brim with so much stuff to do. Ahhh.Bummer. Blame me for being the procrastinator. Those of you I don't get to see, doesn't mean I don't feel the emotional attachment with you all, doesn't mean we're not palsy-walsy anymore. It's just that..ahhh. Blame me for dawdling. Sorry peeps :( For those I've met up with, it's obvious I do care a great deal for you guys. Especially Shaun, Tommy&gang, Hansong, Jaryl, Thomas, Tuck Wah, Beng (You fucker tua me >.<), Poh&Company etc etc. Gonna be missin' lots of people especially those bros of mine. To Diana, sorry my coffee treat has to come later. sorry sorry. To Bernice, sorry my lunch treat has to come later too but don't worry, it'll have to be a glitzy ritzy lunch I promise! Tricia, love you heaps for being there for me ALWAYS, and I mean always, so thoughtful of ya. My dearie sis that'll I miss lots. Boon and Shawn, bros forever. I love you guys because we've been through so much shit in life, we used to be the scums of the earth hehe. Lotsa fun with the 2 of you around, still carrying the picture of the 3 of us in my wallet. It's gonna act like a talisman and keep the spooks away from me :D To AhSeng and AhBui(TPY gang), thanks for the fond memories, all the chill out sessions with you guys at the coffee shop and many more. To Bird, stop abusing alcohol you faggot. Thanks for being a bro to me. 4 years of good times with you. Thanks for all the sound advice, everythin'. To Janna, thanks for those perky messages that never fails to brighten up my day, you're an angel. Weilin, my owl, you never fail to draw up smiles in my life with your messages and stuff. You're sucha cutie and a dope as well hah :P Adeline, so sorry time's not on our side, but I really appreciate everythin' you've said and done, will always treasure the late night beach session with you, always. Max and BingBing, sorry we couldn't meet up, but you guys sure gave me lotsa memories from school. Thanks for the thoughtfulness, and the goodness in you all. And Kong, accompany Jaryl more in school, study hard and smoke less. I'll see you in a bit. Fuck, this sounds like my will or some shit. HAHA ok. I'm saying this cause I might never say this kinda thang again. So peeps I beg you to differ once again, and appreciate me hah. I'll be back in a bit...

2004-09-30T04:35:00.000+08:00

There's a million and one things on my mind tonight, despite the crazy fun we had, yeah... It is our last mambo jumbo at Zouk. Tonight's a big bday celebration of 2 of our bros, Jaryl and Tuck Wah. We danced the night away, drinking to our hearts' content...but the thoughts kept flowing in, flooding my mind, blurring my vision. That old wound's malice wouldn't spare me, it's hurting again tonight, and who can understand that immense pain that grows in me? That heart wrenching feeling, that torn away soul of mine...does it ever gets better? You think it's cowardice do you? Feeling damaged and all. But I implore you to differ. Just how many of us would put up that brave front and act as if life's wonderful and looking on the brighter side, but in truth we're just shattered deep down, in fear of loneliness and yearning for someone's touch, someone's embrace. Just how many of us are disfigured with the emotional scars that run deep in our hearts? That tough exterior's nothing but comestic concealment. It's fucking fake, fucking pretence. So yeah, I admit. I'm hurt, I've lost. You were my achilles heel. I was perished in that little game you called "love". After sucha long time and I'm still living life in its lowest form. You must be feeling like a medalist, like a Nobel prizewinner or somethin'. You are a great actress JX. You deserve an Oscar award. But if I could put you down a lil, let me tell you I'm recovering and I don't give a fucking shit about you. You're better dead than alive. Fuck I'm drunk.. nights peeps.

2004-09-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

Sept 28
Woke up at 10, settled bills
Had a big lunch with Vincent
Smoked a lil, bought FHM
Went home, read some trashy mags
Afternoon nap from 2-7pm
Had dinner, got really PISSED by some ass
Fixed the comp with a friend
Had more cigarettes
Went to meet my bros at TPY
Had BEER
More cigarettes
Went for a 2.4 run
Took a shower
popped some pills
Feeling sick still
And I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

2004-09-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

Sept 26
I sent an mp3 (Westlife's "Mandy") to someone
received an mp3 (Bruce Springteen's "Seceret garden") from someone
Bought vanilla ice blended for a friend
was driving in circles, lost in S. gardens
Drove past the Japanese cemetry, found the playground
Parked outside a friend's place not knowing it's her place
Had a few drinks
a lil high
drove shawn to my place
had a chat, a smoke, a bath.
Kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking......

Sept 27
Had a smoke, popped some pills
Lunch with Shawn.
Had a swim
Walking around orchard
Bought lots of underwear
Touch up my tattoo
Drove to East Coast for dinner
Shag like hell.
And I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking.....

2004-09-23T16:48:00.000+08:00

I've been so busy ever since I came back from Bangkok because there were too many things on hand that requires my time. Too many lunch and dinner appointments, excessive phone calls to make, bills to settle, things to repair (fucking comp.) and stuff to buy. Sometimes I feel so worn out, so jaded and I realised I hardly have time to slow my pace down, take an evening walk with my dog, breathe the freshness of the air and enjoy the many blessings in life. I've been too occupied with people, with my undertakings and responsibilities that I couldn't find the time for myself. Sigh..I wanna be less busy, have more free time on hand and spend the last few days with loved ones. Yeah...hope my throat recovers in time. I can't wait to be a soldier.

2004-09-19T20:17:00.000+08:00

Man...I just let those 3 and half months slip by me in a breeze. The major part of the 3.5 months had been spent trying to forget some fucking-unhappy memories. What for? I kinda regretted getting myself worked up over sucha meager event in life. What the fuck.. I could have done more in those 3.5 months, and I realised it's a little too late for regrets now. I could have been a little more jubilant couldn't I? But I take to comfort that I am happy the way I am now. So poh, it's over man..trust me. Even if that thang's dead or alive, we'll be swinging til 3.

P.S. we did it jerry. thanks shaun. FUCKING ASTEROID

2004-09-18T03:16:00.000+08:00

I hate children's day because I'm gonna shave my head, shave shave shave! I want my hairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I WANT IT ALL!! I hate children's day because when the children play, I'm gonna carry guns, I'm gonna learn how to shoot. I hate children's day because it reminds me I'm no longer a kid. I wanna be a kid, don't rob me of my innocence, my carefreeness. DON'TTTTTTTTTTTTT. I don't wanna be locked up in a bloody chalet. I just wanna shoot and go home. I want my bed. I want my liquor.I wanna get high!!!!! Bloody hell...I'm gonna miss you the most...you're the last thing I wanna lose...I can't lose you..you mean the world to me..You're my everything..I'm gonna miss my hair...

2004-09-14T18:25:00.000+08:00

Sawatdee Khab. Our stay in Bangkok was absolutely fantastic, and it would definitely be one of the most memoriable trips in our lives, as all of us really had good fun together. Lucky I didn't go to Australia, was contemplating for awhile. Great, ahaha. I made the right choice. We stayed in a 3 star hotel called Baiyoke Sky. Wasn't too impressed with the first look of it, but wait til you see the pool on the 20th storey. Location wise quite central and the overall service wasn't too bad. It is an eighty storey high building with a pool overlooking the city. Man... the view up there is breathtaking. We had 3 full days to experience Bangkok and that definitely is too short a time for us. The best bit of the trip is the floating market. It allowed me to experience the culture of Thailand and their way of life. The river itself acts as the market place where the boatmen meets up together, rowing their little boats that were filled with all kinds of food stuff, spices and handcrafts of all sorts. People could buy their goods or have their meals on board their boats. There are boatmen who set up food stalls on the boat itself and cook for whoever that patronizes their boat. It was definitely an experience of a life time. We went to many other places as well such as the Grand palace and the Jatujak market where they sold all kinds of things from clothes to antiques, figurines, animals of all sorts as well as flowers and plants. The market is an incredibly big market with the size of holland Village and we got lost in there. Oh, there were tattoo shops too haha. Well..too much to say about Bangkok already. We even made a friend there, what a blessing. It's a memoriable trip indeed...but it couldn't have been that good without my bros. Pics and video clips are up! :)

2004-09-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

Some people just ain't worth it, even if it means going on the extra mile, going out of the way to do things for them. It's ok, we all take things for granted as well, don't we? This predicament has found the way to its end. The day I stop doing the things I used to, will also be the day that I would never return. Never.

2004-09-04T03:36:00.000+08:00

Fridays are great when it's meaningfully spent with people. Had a serious session of magic with Shaun and then a nice homely dinner of mum's cooked food -gonna be missin' that in a month's time-, afterwhich we had a nice swim and a great chat at the pool. Well..thought the night's gonna end right there..but we were game for a round of drinks. So there we were at the club, having a few drinks, and that's it. Good quality time with my bro. Lots of girls tonight and my bro was like overwhelmed with the beautiful crowd...hah. I was the only one being sane, sipped my drinks and that was what I did all night. Saw Mark Zee there flirting with some bitch. What the hell happened to bimbo rach? God knows if they've split, but this Mark's really smooth. He's got some moves there, but he ain't no man that's what I'm gonna say. Getting into the ladies' good books doesn't mean he's had the same with the guys. Apparently Mark's not very well-liked by the blokes out there. Then again I bet he doesn't give a shit. Drove pass an old friend's place tonight and saw her dog, was very surprised that the lil pup still recognised me and my car as it came by the gate wagging its tail. So I parked the car and gave him a good stroke and a nice pat on the back. Was quite moved by the pup's gestures... 'cause I sort of felt he wanted some attention or affection as he was a tad too whiny tonight. Poor pup, I felt as if I could sit there the whole night and coax him to be a bit more cheery, and he did! So happy. He laid down and allowed me to stroke him more, almost falling asleep, til i stopped. Gave me a really good lick. Oh wells. Love that pup lots. He's so full of love. UK fair tomorrow, hopefully I'll be able to find a good uni with a good course...Well I leave it in God's hands. That's it for the night. Avoir

2004-09-03T17:04:00.000+08:00

I had a talk with my beloved old man last night, well...I've always felt kind of intimidated when I speak to him, like we're not on the same level or something. Yet we know this talk's inevitable, my old man loves me, and he knows I'm troubled, I'm kinda lost. I tried to avoid the talk because there's always this awkwardness that's hard to bypass, because the father-and-son role is constantly in play since he brought me to this world -like as if I can regard him as a peer-, and there's this substantial amount of respect I have for him. So yeah we're on different levels but then again, despite the awkwardness I appreciate my dad for the heart talk, although it sure sounds a little different from the usual conversations with friends, I've got some comfort, some drilling, a kick in the ass -I mean, figuratively speaking- to act as a wake up call. I love to dream, and imagine about some good luxurious life ahead for me, maybe own an island, have my own private jet...a yacht, drink from the finest of wines and eat from the choicest of tables... but I forgot all about the hardwork behind that extravagant life style, that exorbitance. I'm gonna stop building castles in the air. Period.

Jamie Cullum

2004-09-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

When I marry the love of my life, the woman I'll always kiss and hug affectionately even til the day we find little children of our children that is a cloudy reflection of our youth, I'll sing the song...to the girl that made a difference, that made me complete...

What a difference a day made,
twenty four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
where there use to be rain
My yesterday was blue dear
Today I'm a part of you dear
My lonely nights are through dear
Since you said you were mine
Oh, what a difference a day made
There's a rainbow before me
Skies above can't be stormy since that moment of bliss
That thrilling kiss
It's heaven when you find romance on your menu
What a difference a day made
And the difference is you, is you

- a song by Jamie Cullum

supper

2004-08-31T04:58:00.000+08:00

How am suppose to break the habit? I've been sleeping really late everyday. That reminds me, it's survival in there, in bloody tekong. Waking up at 0530 everyday. Ughh...I feel sick. Anyhow, last night I headed down east coast with Jaryl after sending Shaun home. The Lagoon was where we went to. It was a windy night and I would say it's a really nice place to chill on a week day. The rojak there was really good, you guys should try it out some day. The stall owner had like pictures of himself and Chow Yun Fatt taken, that were pasted on the glass panels of his stall. Guess it's a way of doing some publicity for his stall. Anyway, i wasn't too impressed til I had my first mouthful of rojak. Man...it's hard to find good rojak nowadays! :/ Tonight, yet again, I met up with Marvin yanxia and liz at Fong Seng for supper. Lucky me I didn't eat 'cause I was constantly reminded by the fact that everyone was complaining I put on weight. It's bad :( Marvin mentioned the German cannibal who ate half of someone's dick, afterwhich his victim -who's happy to die in such a way- bled to death after 12 stabs in his chest. The cannibal then chopped his body up and stored it in his fridge,eating him up in 3 fucking days.HOLY SHIT. That made me so sick I lost my appetite and almost threw up because of that, but it's definitely a good diet plan. Wait til you see the video...I bet you'll be suffering from anorexia in no time. 1 more month left before I lose my "virginity" to SAF. They say you become a real MAN after army. Well... I'm just looking forward to a swell time in Bangkok with the guys. Let's make it a memoriable vacation before we say goodbye to our hair, our bed, air-con, comp and of course some good ol' porn mpeg file that's ever stimulating our minds. HAH. Night Kids

2004-08-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

Mornin' all. I'm feeling wierd today, maybe because I woke up at the wrong side of the bed today. Had a bad dream which I can't recall at all, but the gist of it speaks of a life unravelling it's ugliness, the hideous nature of humanity. Haven't they heard the call of fidelity? Or did they choose to ignore it. I just shaved last night and today I'm feeling the stubbles on my chin, but it wasn't like that before? It takes about a day or 2 before it starts growing outta my face. Gee. Guess I'm getting old.Then I hope I'll have a nice cool goatee in future that's nicer than Pierre's . Listening to Corrine May and lazing in bed on a Sunday afternoon doesn't feel too good. Maybe...maybe it's the music. I should play something more jazzy..like Bossa Nova? Or maybe...it's because I didn't go for sunday worship again? More likely the latter this time, but the former did have a role to play in the not-so-good feeling today. Well..Whatever really. I'm immuned to this kinda feeling. Even being in the dumps, I can still draw a smile from my face, lift my spirits up with a tale of a lame joke, or some good brazilian jazz like Bossa Nova to groove on. If you think your life's ending on a bad note, remember as monty python sings, "Always look on the briiiiight...side of life" -whistles-

scum of the earth

2004-08-29T03:29:00.000+08:00

It's 4 am now..had too much to drink and an overdosed of nicotine. Damn..what a night. getting drunk at home..listening to some jazz, gazing at the stars. Days are hard to pass these days. My date with Dawn was totally crap. I mean..I was so stoned she was practically talking to herself. I felt so bad..yet she can tell me she enjoyed our date. Whatever..but I don't know why..maybe it's the lack of sleep these days..I sleep very very late..and wake up very very early, which is why I'll get all puffy-eyed and moody the next day. Today, I almost crashed into the car right infront of me..my mind just drifted off somewhere -I don't know where- into space, as if in a daze, as if my mind had been paralyzed. Well, poor Dawn got a shock. Sister's flying off tomorrow and we just had a tiff, would could've been better man? I really don't know why, I can't seem to figure out why is it I have this feeling coming back to me all over again. I feel so dejected, rejected, like I'm the scum of the earth, and it gets lonely..facing every single fucking shit in life alone. Everytime, I feel life scorning at me, mocking me to shame. This immense feeling in me couldn't get any better could it? The nights get longer...the days turn shorter..Father in heaven, please look at me and take me to comfort..Or at the very least, teach me how to deal with it alone. Teach me how to be a loner.

2004-08-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

Today's a beautiful day, all sunny and windy. Gonna be at sentosa with Dawn. Oh yeah and xI* thanks for missing me and lovin' me. Go screw yourself.

great day!

2004-08-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

Today's a great day for once. Woke up not too late, not too early and had quality time with my sis. Went out for lunch and had coffee after that. It's really good having a sister like her, we have fun together, do things together, talk to each other and so often we're mistaken for a couple. WTH. Anyway guess I'll be keeping myself busy from now thanks to my old man, he gave me an opportunity of a life time. To start out on my own. Well, I'm gonna keep it a secret. It's nothing big but I won't reveal it here. Guess I've found a bit of direction, work to keep me occupied. I'm sane haha. Most importantly, I'll be spending more time with my grand dad, taking him to the dialysis centre and looking after him. He used to dote on me and I guess, that's just the bare minimum of showing him I love him as well. Well, I got what I hoped for, now i hope to be just humble and wiser.

2004-08-22T04:16:00.000+08:00

Wish

How I wished I could turn back time, so I'll never have to regret. How I wished time would pass faster, so that I can find some meaning in my life. How I wished I could speed in a Modena down the fast lane, and throw those painful thoughts out the window. How I wished there woul be enough work to keep me running, keep me busy and keep me sane. How I wished..that there would be more than enough good times to keep the laughters going. How I wished there would be someone to warm my bed at night. How I wished there would be someone to put a smile in my heart. How I wished I could be a better man. How I wished..when I'm six feet under, the world would mourn for me. How I wished.. that my grey skies will turn blue.

What luck?

2004-08-22T03:05:00.000+08:00

Was with GT at the club the other day and was kind of surprised that the manager looked me up. Apparently he gave that gay a dressing down and told him if he ever created trouble for the staff of the club as well as the members, he can be banned from using the club facilities even under a guest list. What was more surprising was that the actress who signed the faggot in wanted to buy me a drink to apologise. Well.. I declined the invitation but accepted her apology. Afterall, it ain't her fault. I'm more than satisfied, giving that fella a verbal fuck and seeing the smiles on the faces of the staff. Ok, gotta plan the thailand trip with the guys already. The last holiday I'll have with my bros before the arrival of a dreadful Children's Day.

Feeling Expensive

2004-08-20T03:36:00.000+08:00

Feeling expensive tonight

Not a bad night after all, even though I felt I was procrastinating a little on this date with Lorraine due to bad timing - couldn't meet earlier because I woke up late and had stuff to do - that made it quite impossible for us to meet up tonight. Gotta say it had been a wonderful night. We decided to have dinner at Paragon's Sushi Teh before heading down for coffee at HV. 1 lemon tea that lasted for 2 whole hours, I didn't know how she did it, but I had 2 coffees, promising myself I'll abstain from alcohol tonight. After that I drove Lorraine home, but she suggested that we go for a spin, since she had decided to skip work tomorrow for a longer weekend. So yeah. Nothing feels better with good music from Renee Olstead and Class 95, cruising in a car with a friend and chatting the night away. We visited Bradell and decided to look at the houses there but please don't get the wrong idea, we're not comtemplating to cohabit. A nice slow drive around the estate made me sleepy, while Lorraine admired at the various bungalows that flaunted their exquisite designs. But she managed to perk me up with our ongoing conversation that caused us to exchange critics on the expensive houses and their architectural designs. On one of those streets, there was this particular house that caught our attention with its unique appearance. It had dome shaped roof tops that were fastidious and the structure and layout of the house boosted it's elegance. The choice for greenery was made perfect with the tall palm trees that adorned it's architectural beauty even more. Slightly extravagant with it's plush decor I must say,but yet I was enthralled by its magnificence. Tasteful architecture that looked expensive :) Talking about pricey stuff, I forgot to mention that I visited Gucci today and took a fancy on their wallets. Couldn't decided - there were 2 that i fancied - which to buy if I really wanted to. One is $350 while the other is $440. The costlier one looks slightly better with more slots for cards and a nicer picture holder though. And after a night of viewing fancy houses and a sniff of Gucci's leather fabric that smelled so good it made me euphoric, I felt expensive, but highly uneconomical. At the same time I had the vibes for the ebb of my financial status. But heck, an ebb is temporial right? Wait a minute..I'm already in debt! Ok, that's temporial too. Good night peeps.

Graduation Day

2004-08-19T05:02:00.000+08:00

The beginning

Graduation day kinda suck when you see people with LKY awards, top the level with 34ADs and such, but when I received the certificate in my hands, I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I didn't do exactly well, I know I'm such a letdown. But academic results to me isn't the most important thing in my life, I can live with failure. What I'm trying to say is that, I'm happy with those 3 years in Ngee Ann, even though I could have pushed myself a little harder, getting a few As and awards.I made wonderful friends, that mean much more to me than a couple of ADs, a LKY award whatsoever. These friends that I've made will stick with me til I'm 6 feet under, and I'm more than satisfied, having to repeat my Appreciating Artwork module, failing all my Common Assesments, getting Cs and Ds. The last semester was a mind boggling challenge that I couldn't see myself going through. But it passed with a breeze. Where would I be without those friends today? Where would I be today, without my parents? I'm thankful that I had enough trials to keep me strong, enough luck to make me smile at life, enough work to keep me challenged and enough of life's treasures to keep me truly happy, and they are the friends I've made throughout the 3 years. Those who had brought me laughters and stood by me through the rainy days, you guys made me feel that those 3 years ain't just about the awards and ADs. It's about the warmth of friendship, the comradeship and the sincerity of our hearts. So I just wanna tell all of you out there, it's not the end of the road for us, but a new beginning that's opening a new chapter in our lives. Fuck the results -I mean I'm gonna work harder in the future- man, and cheers to many more years of brotherhood.

Gareth, les' amie

2004-08-17T03:08:00.000+08:00

Brother Gareth

Bonsoir amie. Tonight's the last night with Gareth before he becomes a national slave to the nation!! Man.. it's been 3 years bro, all the good memories are starting to fill me in tonight, thinking about the day we became classmates, the times we started hanging out with each other, laughing at Cherlyn, squabbling with Justina, boycotting Kelvin (did I get the spelling right? Heck, you know which ass I'm referring to) and the day, the day we became friends. Just wanna say a big thank you to you bro, for all the ups and downs that we faced together through out our walk in life. Never was there a time that you left me fending for myself alone, all the trash talks we had at the beach, man...you were great company bro. My smoking kaki, my bro, my confidante.. there's nothing more I can ask from a friend like you. I just wanna wish you well, and hope that all things will go smoothly for you in there. I will always be there for you my man. All the best brother, and cheers, to happier moments. A voir a bientol.

Bonsoir

2004-08-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

Bonsoir my friends. Surprised? Just when you thought my world's gonna crash and put me in hell, I danced to jazz and enjoyed the savor of sweet champagne. Just when you thought I would lose my control over that rage of mine, I kept forever cool, calm and collected. I'm taking a holiday from you bastards, and a couple of superficial fuckers. Well, maybe it's just one or two. I'm gonna throw away that devotion I invested in all of you, why? Because you bastards, and superficial fuckers, you people try to put me in hell. Why can't you behave? Huh? Why can't you take my hand, sip my champagne and be my friend eh? All of you, in Armani suits and ties, Prada dresses and pricey jewellery from Tiffany & Co, I hope you're havin a good time. Cause' you didn't kill me. I'm still very much alive. I'm a winner among the losers. I'll see you guys around in a bit, til I'm back from my vacation.

2004-08-13T13:54:00.000+08:00

There never seem to be a solution to this shortage of cash problem. What do u suggest? Approach some business angel? Or rob the bank. We've been brainstorming for the last 96 hrs, still no conclusion. The never ending problems seem to be eating us a live, taking away our sleep, our lives, our hopes and dreams. Fucking hell..Johnny, I wish I could put a bullet through your head. But that's gonna hurt just a bit.

2004-08-09T19:34:00.000+08:00

Happy fuckin' National day. And fuck you, you superficial friend. I hope your life's as fucked as mine.

Reminiscing with Aiken tonight

2004-08-03T04:29:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing with Aiken tonight

I kept listening to my clay aiken songs tonight. I played them over and over again..over and over again. All I wanna do is reminisce from the lyrics of the songs. There's this particular song resang by aiken called "on the wings of love". It really felt good listening to it, I remembered 21st of dec so well. Well dudes and dudettes it's a lovely song, won't you download it for me? :) The other one, called "I will be here", will always be my all time favourite.

I don't know myself

2004-08-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

I don't know myself...everytime I face the mirror I don't know myself..cause that ain't me!!!!!!!!!! I'm not like that. All that pretence...argh..I feel like dying. This damn impersonation.

Relinquish of a love, or betrayal?

2004-07-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

Relinquish of a love, or betrayal?

He thought he knew you from the start my precious, he thought he knew you from the heart my love. The affinity you both felt, the closeness of your hearts and souls, the tender affectionate words you spoke, his trust in you amplified. He cast his doubts away, he held his faith in you close by, never forsaking it. Day and night, he took care of that faith he had in you, nurtured the love seed into a rain tree. You were the light in the darkness, the colors of the rainbow and the sunshine amidst the rain clouds. This love he found in you, did he confess, it made him feel so alive, it gave him strength he never knew he could have possibly gathered, gave him hope that once withered, a life that he never have dreamed of. Like a weary traveler in the dessert, he found his oasis. The seasick sailor, an overdose of alcohol and nicotine, has found the shores to a new life. Like an eagle, spreading those feathers, he soared into the skies, flew high on the wings of love. Wouldn't you romance such a belief? But that weary traveler, so full of hope he searched the oasis with gusto, only to find out in the end he has been under the delusion that the oasis was nearby. There was no oasis. The sailor, he disembarked from the ship hoping to end his aimless travel, found himself on abandoned shores with no trace of human population. There was no new life. The eagle, it flew with boldness, as if pervaded with an aura of confidence. But soon it broke its fine wings, and didn't fly high. There was no love. All the hope, faith and trust had been crushed. Deceived they were indeed, all 3 of them. The traveler held his empty hopes high, the sailor did the same thing, and so did the confident eagle. The more reality reveals itself, the more he learned about the painful truth, he tormented in hell. Where is that love he saw through the eyes of that masquerading lover? It is gone, because he saw through the deception, the craftiness of the mind, the betrayal of trust. Above that, he chose to see this as a war. Sound the drums of the winner, blow the horns of the victor. But when he comes back defeated, crestfallen, you know this war is a tough war, it wounded his heart, his soul and his mind. The pain drove him insane. The tears swelled up in his eyes. The truth hurt so much. But there would be a time when the pain will subside, when the bleak, harsh winter would welcome spring. The birds will began their harmonic singing, the flowers commencing their blooming and the trees, flourishing in their shades of green. He acknowledged the assurance, welcomed back the confidence that once resided in his heart. Off he rides, into a long anticipated victory.

2004-07-30T05:39:00.000+08:00

Marist Reunion

Tonight's gonna be the biggest night for us, Derek, Han, Me and the rest. We are gonna get fuckin' drunk in ChinaBlack because we are opening a cannon. Yes, and we are gonna fill up the damn member area and rock that place alive. Oh yeah I need a date tonight because those fuckers are gonna get girls down. Who wants to be my date? :(

Hell of a night with Derek

2004-07-29T14:02:00.000+08:00

I have the Marist look

Last night was great hanging out with the lads. Derek's back from Syndey, our good old lawyer-to-be pal who's gotta be one of the best drinkers. I've met my match. It's been a long time since we had this Marist gathering. Damn..those lads really matured a great deal. And one thing I'll always have to agree, we marists look "sibeh sud" together, in other words, we look untouchable. Saw Alicia last night, hope she's getting better. And yes Melissa was there shaking with her crazy friends hehe. Sorry I overslept and missed that morning call Mel. Pay you 15 bucks loh. Hahaha :P

My Man

2004-07-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

My Man, J

From the very first day in school, I didn't liked my man, the unfriendly gestures, glancing around hatefully. Never did I dream that you would end up being my man. Our paths crossed because of the very thing that's gonna give us cancer. We smoked at the gate, we exchanged greetings and we became friends and over the years we've become more than just friends, you became my man. 3 years, amidst the fun we had, you've walked with me and I'm grateful to you for standing up for me when I needed support. When I needed a listening ear, someone to hear my heart out, you never failed to show up, giving me a hand, a shoulder to lean on when I'm battered and defeated in spirit. We've braved the storms and challenges in life that always seem to pull us down, but you were there, my man. This comradeship will always live in us. I'm glad to know you and glad that our paths crossed. Thank you my man, everything you've done, every thought, every word and every action. The 3 years of my life has been one of the most memoriable days of my life because of you, my man. I wouldn't be standing here today if not for you. If there's a speech I must make, it has to be this speech. My man, thank you for being part of my life. This is my dedication to my man, my brother.

FUCKING ASSHOLE

2004-07-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

FUCK DAY

Fucking failed attempt to have a FUCKING good work out at the FUCKING gym today, because some FUCKING low-life son of a bitch came and FUCKING created a scene in the gym. There are some FUCKING rules we have to follow for the FUCKING safety and FUCKING benefit of the users in the FUCKING gym, which means "NO SLIPPERS" GAY FUCKER, because we are AFRAID YOU WOULD FUCKING HURT YOUR FUCKING TOES AND FUCKING SUE THE GYM FOR THAT. This FUCKING asshole has been FUCKING eyeing me in the FUCKING gym like a FUCKING hawk and what the fuck? Are you trying to FUCKING hit on me? Accuse me of FUCKING complaining him to the instructor that he's FUCKING wearing slippers. Damn this FUCKING son of a bitch, people have eyes to see, need I say more? FUCKING NO RESPECT TO ELDERS, because you FUCKING throw the towel at the receptionist, and just because you're a FUCKING guest signed in by some FUCKING UNPOPULAR TV CELEBRITY YOU CAN THROW YOUR FUCKING WEIGHT AROUND AND ORDER PEOPLE? FUCKING ASSHOLE. I'LL BEAT THE FUCKING LIGHTS OUT OF YOU. MOTHER FUCKER. SO LET'S COMMEMORATE THIS DAY AS THE FUCK DAY, BECAUSE WE FUCKING OWE THIS DAY TO YOU MOTHER FUCKING GAY BOY.

Just Myself

2004-07-25T18:25:00.000+08:00

View me as whoever you perceive me to be

I've learnt, you can never please everyone, appeal to everyone and so on. I am myself. Everyone has their shortcomings. I'm hot tempered, I'm stubborn, I'm quick to react and I don't disacknowledge this at all. Inside me, I'm trying hard to change for the better, not that I'm not being myself but the thought of constantly improving myself as a person keeps me going and struggling at times. It's true that people tend to hurt the ones they love most, and I've made that mistake. They were unintentional, but I don't deny the fact that it did caused a lot of damage. People like my parents and siblings, close friends like lil pig, jerry and mossy have experienced it. But amidst the damage done to both parties, I'm grateful we grew closer over time. Not that I'm escaping from responsibility, I still feel bad when I look back at how ugly things were, but it played a part in helping us build a better, stronger relationship with one another. There's a saying that "a true friend is the best mirror". Friends reflect and show you who you truly are, through thick and thin they mould you and change you into a better person. I'm tired, exhausted and feeling the strain emotionally. For all the people that I treasure, you know who you are. Every action, every word that comes from me, I meant it all. For all those that I've hurt, I sincerely wanna say "I'm sorry". Life is an on-going lesson, I'm always learning, making mistakes all the time and amending them as well. Gracious people have given me chances, and so I will give chances too. So to all the people that holds a place in my heart, believe in me.

Loneliness

2004-07-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

Loneliness

Once there was a good friend who mentioned that his walk of life is a lonely path, not because he lacked the company but because he lacked the mutual understanding, the connection of thoughts with people, the intimacy of sharing, accepting and agreement of one's values in life. As I grew older, the constant urge of self-realisation and discovery led me to the belief that my loneliness is growing intensely. I find myself unable to relate to some of the people that I used to share with. Not that I do not find my comfort in people anymore, in fact I still do. Many times I thank God for lovely friends that brace me up through the bad times. But what is lacking, is the similarity of two persons' values and perspectives of life, the resemblence, familiarity, the uniformity that brings to them relief, comfort and solace. Nevertheless, I still wanna thank the friends that have stood by me these few years. Your steadfastness, actions have brought me through the most difficult of times, allowed me to cross hurdles I never dreamt of crossing. My heartfelt gratitude to all of you is because of who you are to me, and vice versa.

2004-07-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

It's always the case, things change over time, the environment we were so used to, our lives, the people around us and the feelings involved. The last time i came home, i found a new puppy right at my door step and my car broke down(not that it didn't happen before). Well, I consider myself lucky as that isn't too bad compared to someone who had lost a loved one. While in London, I spent quality time with my mum doing lots things together. One evening, we caught a light hearted musical that was pretty entertaining(Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, if you ever heard of it) and suddenly I was feeling a little nostalgic, recalling my childhood days, reminiscing precious moments with my mum and I was engulfed in my thoughts and emotions. I was four, mum's 39. She brought me to the movies. This time round, she's 55, I'm 20. I got the tickets and I brought her to the musical. Although it was a tad different, the feelings and emotions involved were the same. Walking down memory lane, i see myself living life alone, passing by my loved ones, being too engrossed with my own concerns. I never entered their lives, and I didn't give them a chance either. She's 55 this year, doesn't walk too well, unlike the past years because of a knee problem. Often complaining of aches, she admits she's getting older, so am I. Thank God, her hair's still black, a tint of brown and no treatments done. The real reason for my nostalgia, is that I've been missing loved ones out of my life. Mum is just one of the many. Love as I see it, is a one sided affair with the opposite sex to the hot headed young lovers of our generation. But there are many faces of love, and I've neglected that. I don't wanna regret, but I'm thankful I still have time now.

Another night of jazz

2004-07-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

Another night of jazz

Will be heading down to Leicester Square with elaine tonight, gonna have dinner and we've booked a place at Ronnie Scott's, my favourite jazz bar in london. Everytime i go there i feel different, i believe it's the way how i acknowledge my affinity with jazz that my mood goes with it, sad or happy may it be. That place gives me good vibes. So no matter what i'm feeling tonight, i'm gonna be captivated by tonight's music. Anyhow, thanks to elaine for all the effort in wanting to meet up and everything. Appreciate that. :)

London

2004-07-12T02:39:00.000+08:00

Cold summer

Alright folks, managed to get my hands on a laptop over here, although the keyboard's totally screwed up. Some of the keys are totally screwed. Like the backspace key, it's not functioning and i hafta use the delete button. Damn..typing is really tedious. London's rather cold at this time of the year although it's supposedly summer. But i must say i enjoy a cooler weather. Temperature ranges from 17° in the day to about 10° at night.Also, it only gets dark at 10pm and dawns around 4am, something we'll never experience in SG, not forgetting the cold weather heh. So far so good, it has been a good day for me. Went to church in the morning, gotta say the sermon was really meaningful. Everyone was very involved with God's work and i'm glad to see that there were other races apart from the white british men. There were african blacks, chinese and europeans. They had a lovely instrumental band too, that sang along with the choir. I must say I was comforted. Had lunch at Four Seasons, chinese food that Thomas and I both enjoyed during our first visit 2 months back. Well Thomas if you wanna know, i had pretty much the same dishes we had the last time. The roast duck, salt and pepper calamari etc. YEAH good food. Only think lacking is cigarettes after a sumptuous meal. And did i mention it's fucking expensive over here? 15 SGD for a hard pack and only 16 sticks in one pack. fuck. Oops. I really should cut down on the f-word. Sassy lil hat you too :P Anyhow, I went on a car ride for the later half of the day sight seeing and touring around london, visited the rich people's estate called Hampstead. There was this huge canal that linked right up to river thames, it was filled with boat houses that people actually lived in it. We drove down to the heart of the city with all the shopping and eateries located there. The architecture in London is tastefully distinguished with the likes of victorian-styled buildings, turkish-styled etc. This city is a combination of old world and new world, with modern sky scrapers towering over the city and artistic buildings of yesterday that charms your vision. London's just too much to experience in a week for the average Singaporean. Ok, gonna take a walk in banglah town now. Want my cigarettes RIGHT NOW. Val if you're reading this I want you to know i miss you a lot and I hope you get well soon? Here's wishing you a speedy recovery. :)

leaving on a jet plane

2004-07-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Ok fellas, haven't got the time to pen my thoughts lately. Anyhow, gonna leave for UK again tomorrow. I don't know why but everytime I leave the country things change. The last time I was out of town for a week, I came home and found a new pet. Hah, oh well. I don't know what's gonna change this time. I've been reminiscing recently, thinking of a lot of people I haven't met up in a long time, all the old friends and the happy moments we all had. Sometimes, looking back, I feel kind of sad that everyone has moved on from there, each having their own lives and activities, hardly having the time to meet up. On the contrary, it's happy to look back and think we've all had a swell time together. I didn't have much time to meet up with Nic who's back from australia for holiday, and Budhi who seldom comes back to singapore, he flew all the way from the states just to meet up with us. What bad timing I must say, missed the chance to meet up with old friends. Tonight I caught Mean Girls with my sassy lil hat. Quite an okay show but i enjoyed sassy lil hat's company more. It's humorous in a bimbotic way, but overall it's a whole load of crap. It just goes to show girls are a pain in da ass. Oops. I didn't mean you. heh. No offence to the ladies out there. Ok, gotta go pack my suit case. Thanks to sassy lil hat, I've got myself a nice jacket from Armani Exchange. Gonna wear it and think of you haha. To Steph if you're reading this, I hope everything's fine over there in Melbourne. Send me some mails or text me if anything yea? Good night peeps, you guys have a wonderful week ahead and bon voyage to jx who's leavin' for Perth. All the best.

P.S. Oh yea anybody has that song "without you" by Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson? send me man.

moving fast

2004-07-07T19:21:00.000+08:00

Been really busy with stuff lately. Just came back from HongKong a few days back and lots of stuff to do before I fly off to UK. I must admit that I'm living on the fast track lately and have been neglecting stuff. Ok. Sending Steph off tonight to Australia. I really miss her..she has always been a staunch friend, someone that cares a lot for people. I'm gonna really miss you a lot steph..really. I hate this feeling. I hate good byes. Yeah. Anyhow, we all wanna wish that Steph will have a safe trip to Australia study hard, live well and get a good tan haha! Ok, shower time. Gonna pick val up and we'll be heading down to the airport. Ok bye!

can i have your bed?

2004-07-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

Can i have your bed?

Yeah..the Czechs! They lost! Damn those Greeks those putas! We had a bet again last night, sassy lil hat and i, so it was a slap on the spot. She couldn't bare to do it, she couldn't. MUAHAHAHA. Ok i'm getting outta here you little putas. Oh, btw, puta means whore in spanish. Ciao!

Steph =)

2004-07-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

purrrrfect time

Last night we decided to meet up with steph for some good time before she leaves on the 7th. Really kinda sad to see a good friend go. Yeah anyhow, steph decided to chill at my place so everyone came over. Had a few rounds of drinks although i was the only one popping down neats and making everyone drink with me. We watched the Portugal-Holland match and i lost a bet, a very interesting bet. So now i gotta get slapped in the face and a hard kick, in the ass. Ahh. Ok I don't think val's that mean. She didn't dare to SLAP me in the car last night. HOHO. I'm starting to enjoy the car rides to sassy lil hat's place everytime I give her a lift home. It sort of allows me to reminisce the early morning car rides with my mum to school when the skies still glitter with stars. I've been travelling the same roads for the past 11 years, and it brings back way too much memory, bad and good. Ironically, travelling on the same roads for 11 years should offer me familiarity, but i can get a bit lost still. Ahhh life's never purrrrfect. I'm a good steady driver, can still drive quite well even when i'm half drunk, and i speed pretty well too! The only problem is a bad directional sense.

Tonight's plan is watching VCDs at sassy hat's place. I gotta say I'm enjoying every moment of my life now. And yeah Aloysius if you're reading this, I'm partying around really hard, flying 'round the world and having a hell lot of good company! I deserve some good time, i really do. 2 years i'll be a fucking slave to the nation. Oops, did i say fuck? Ahh fuck! HAH :D

2004-06-30T14:20:00.000+08:00

Never, stab me from behind.

I woke up, gritting my teeth and clenching my fist. Another bad dream it was. But that's ok. I dream of some people i never wished i had, some people that calls you "their friend", promise you the world and every good thing in it but yet they stab you from behind, very, very unexpectedly. Worst of all, that person happens to be your family or your loved ones. People you love so dearly that you will never expect to receive betrayal from them. Now i know and i trust myself that this very day i have lost a friend.

I love you, but don't ever take sides, with anyone, against me or the family again. Ever.

whooo

2004-06-29T14:52:00.000+08:00

i slept at 7 again. Woke up at 12. A good 4 hours of sleep. No dreams, just soundly asleep. Wait a minute..did i dream? Ok whatever. I guess I didn't. Anyway last night was indeed enjoyable. Had japanese food with sassy lil hat and we headed down to Wala Wala at Holland V. Personally, I kinda like that Wala Wala cause it made me relax. Everything about it was nice, the live band, the laid back setting, the crowd, my cool bottle of beer heh and of course great company. We left sometime after 12 and watched Chicago at sassy hat's place! Gotta say it's a cosy place. The lightings in her living room really put me to sleep. And i tell you, Chicago's hilarious. Yeah, i don't know why but all the dances, the conversations, the facial expressions, everything man. IT'S DAMN FUNNY. Maybe it's the person whom u watch with that makes the difference, and she said i was sadistic :( Til now, i can't seem to stop smiling to myself. WIERD? That's because you don't understand. Don't forget, I might not understand you too. Ok sassy lil hat's great company. Period :D

Unwell

2004-06-29T04:09:00.000+08:00

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
and I don't know why

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me,
talking to myself in public
And dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talkin' bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin
Somehow I've lost my mind

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talkin in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, How I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
(A little unwell)
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Yeah...everything's gonna be alright soon.

It's another late afternoon

2004-06-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Another late afternoon.

You often here the ol' folks reminiscing on good flicks of yesterday but here's one flick any guy wouldn't wanna miss. The Godfather, a mesmeric trilogy played by Marlon Brando with a jaw that looked just too fake and of course my all time favourite, Al Pacino that was way too charismatic in that show. It is an insightful sociological study of violence, power, honor and obligation, corruption, justice and crime in America. The film is characterized by superb acting and deep character studies, beautiful photography and choreography, authentic recreation of the period, a bittersweet romantic sub-plot and superbly-staged portrayals of gangster violence.

"I'm gonna make you an offer you cannot refuse."

afternoon

2004-06-27T12:56:00.000+08:00

Good Afternoon

We had hell of a good time last night with "the usual ones" at embargo. Headed down to central mall after bert gave a hint that he wanted to go somewhere else instead of spending the whole night there. On the whole, last night was over my budget! Shared a bottle of Henessy with Sam and bert, paid for some beer and that's it. heh. Not much more to spare :( I gave val a lift home last nite but being the road idiot that i am, she decided she would be the directional lights of my car and show me the way home. As in sit in my car, send me home and take a cab back to her place again. heh so sweet! Anyway val was over at my place for awhile and we chatted til 6 afterwhich i send her home. I'm not that bad with directions actually. SIGH. Didn't sleep well again. Anyway today's my mother's bday, the only woman that's constant in my life right now. Ahhhh..better get her a nice present. Ciao!

Just a song

2004-06-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

Just a song for the day

Ok this song's written by Kenny Gamble, Leon Huff and Cary Gilbert, a #1 hit for Billy Paul in 1972 back then, then George Huff sang it in American Idol. One of my current favourites. The lyrics? It sure relates to people sometimes. It's not your typical sad love song but rather catchy a tune. Ironically, the lyrics sing a sad story..

Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.

We meet ev'ry day at the same cafe,
Six-thirty I know she'll be there,
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song.

Me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.

We gotta be extra careful
that we don't build our hopes too high
Cause she's got her own obligations and so do I.

Me, me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.

Well, it's time for us to be leaving,
It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside,
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine,
But tomorrow we'll meet the same place, the same time.

Me and Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones.

Try downloading it. Hope i'm not feeling melancholic tonight, it's always a problem for people with artistic souls. Swisshotel better be good. It'll be a lovely evening with val, steph and all the rest! Cheers

searching

2004-06-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

Was just chilling out with bert at holland V tonight when we talked about issues in life. Really appreciate moments like these when close friends open up to one another, reach out to one another and tackle life as a whole. We digressed into small talk and there were laughters. I'm a person that finds my peace and quiet during good conversations with close friends while chilling out. Guess it does helps by knocking back some sense into your head and bring meaning into your life. Back to the topic Life, i have to say it's the greatest teacher of all and everyday's a brand new experience. We fall, we get up, we hurt, we heal. Pardon me for getting a little philosophical tonight. Well well, i'm still learning everyday, dealing with issues in life. God have mercy on me. Peace

not that bad after all

2004-06-25T22:32:00.000+08:00

Not that bad after all..and happy birthday to JUSTINA!

Hiya peeps, yeah i'm back again. Today's a rather bad day initially cause of the wierd sleeping habit and few hours of rest. Had a super duper long nap like 4.5 hours, roughly. Woke up feeling damn groggy but forced myself to return the vcds. The usual cashier who serves me was quite nice, didn't charge me for the extra day, so the fine remains $12.50. Better remember to be on time for the next date that's due in 1 week. Borrowed the 3 series of "The Godfather". Hell YEAH, I'm an Al Pacino fan. Received my new DBS mastercard so that's good news for me, i can save a trip down to DBS. Anyway tmr's Justina's bday, just wanna give you a nice big hug for being such a wonderful friend for 3 years, lots of ups and downs together ay? Well well gotta say I'm sorry that I couldn't turn up for your bday cause the mind is willing but the wallet is weak. YES, it's the wallet alright. Ok and it's the place la, don't really enjoy rowdy clubs anymore. Anyway HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!! Stay happy always and have a really blessed one this year. Hmmm..there are lots of things to do tmr as well. Gotta get a nice suit for my bro's graduation ceremony and fix my cheapo specs. Speaking of my bro, I'm really damn proud of him. We've a family of docs now. Ok gotta go now, meeting bert at Holland V.

morning

2004-06-25T08:48:00.000+08:00

Rise and Shine

Managed to sleep at 2AM last night, but woke up at 5AM. First thing i heard, England's out of euro. Tragic yeah? But i guess somehow you do deserve to lose when you're too proud and arrogant. I personally feel Rooney's that sort of a character. No offence to the England fans out there. On the whole I think the team has done well except that Rooney fella, can't tolerate his attitude! I've realised i can't seem to sleep throughout the night without waking up. It's kind of frustrating when i wake up and thoughts come pouring into my head. It's either i get stressed up over certain issues, brooding over problems or simply getting excited by making big dreams that keep me up all night. I'll be brain dead the entire day, sleepy and feeling lazy. Damn, i hate it when i don't get good rest. Well, the good ol' doctor said it's due to sleep hygiene. Guess I have to do something about it soon. Anw i got up and had a chat with vivi who's still awake in London til about 7.30, tried to go back to sleep but failed.Ended up having a hearty breakfast at the table with mum. Ok now that everyone's off to work and not at home, i shall have my first dosage of nicotine for the day! Let's hope today will be a productive day. Cheers

Tired

2004-06-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

Today's a rather unproductive day, have been trying to change my layout and do some other stuff to the blog. Wanted to return my vcds but guess what? Damn! I went down and VideoEZY's already close. Guess I'll just get fined an extra day. There's lots of things I have to do and wanna do but I keep procrastinating, should really kick my ass for that.

1. RETURN THE VCDS AND PAY THAT BLOODY $15 FINE
2. do something, earn some cash, anything that's productive this holiday
3. Extend my debit card
4. Fix my black-frame specs
5. Get a new card from OUB and bank in some cash
6. Lunch with Bernice (sorry it's been months)
7. Meet-up with shirley hamster (it's been weeks. not that bad hah)
8. Lana,we alw agree to meet up soon but never did. Missed e times at the beach w u.
9. Definitely time for Stephanie,who's going to Melbourne on the 7th of July

Ok,a couple of days more before i leave for HongKong. Time's not on my side and I gotta get serious with myself.I shall STOP betting soccer as it's a waste of time and energy, I wouldn't say money cause I won $17.50 after racking my brains for the past few nights over a miserably small amount of $50 every match. Ok, fuck. I've a big phone bill to pay due to overseas calls and messages while in London. Who's fault? My fault! Night dudes and dudettes.

Back from a fun-filled night

2004-06-24T05:37:00.000+08:00

It had been great tonight at zouk although not many of us were there. Met up with the usual, Sperm man, Thomas, Steph as well as Est and Cal. If you're wondering who the hell is sperm man than it has to be none other than jer. Gareth was there too tonight with Jenelle, really enjoyed his company. We had "malibu under the stars" tonight. FAVOURITE DRINK of Thomas and me! Anyway sperm man got into a little dispute today at the dance floor, trying to relive our infamous days as screwed up punks. After clubbing I had supper with jer and mas at River Valley before sending them home. It was after supper that I and Thomas had a chat near his place. Talked about lots of stuff and we really enjoyed the conversation. It was a great pleasure having everyone tonight. Nights!

2004-06-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

This is me for a start. It's time to get to know me better.